Published in Teen Ink
By Casey Capachi
Dating Up and Down For many Miramonte students there simply aren’t enough fish in the sea to date in their own grade. “Miramonte’s not a huge school. There simply isn’t a big enough selection of guys to date in your own grade,” said sophomore Brian.
Senior Ross prefers to date lower classmen. “Dating down is a lot more exciting. Lower classmen are always willing to try something different and are a lot more open minded than some seniors,” said Ross. Sophomore Lee views her relationship with Ross as “a dream.” “I love dating Ross. He’s so kind to me. He’ll drive out to get me a milkshake during my 7th period and bring it back to school for me to enjoy,” said Lee.
Like Lee, freshman Fiona considers having your date being able to drive you around the best pro for lower classmen to date up.“Driving is freedom. If a guy can drive you it makes a relationship so much better. Sometimes the first thing that will attract me to a guy is his car,” said Fiona.
For many students, cars are the quintessential dating tool. “It’s so nice to have your date drive you to a nice dinner at Taco Bell and then go to Inspiration Point and watch the sun go down. The dates, when you date up, are much more intimate,” said freshman Larry. According to Larry, dating up will boost your social status in the school’s pecking order.
“Dating up makes you seem more mature and wiser than your friends,” said Larry. Freshman Kim shares Larry’s views on dating up. “Older guys just have a lot more appeal. You feel a lot older and more powerful when you’re with them, then say, a freshman guy,” said Kim. According to Lee, it’s difficult to connect with Ross’s friends because of the age difference. “It’s hard to hangout with Ross’s friends; they view me differently because I’m younger,” said Lee. Kim feels pressure to prove ‘freshman girl’ stereotypes wrong. “When you go out with an older guy you don’t want to be too hyper or act immature and have him think you’re too young for him,” said Kim. Freshman Diane thinks that even having dinner at a restaurant with an older guy can be stressful. “You always have to watch how you act on a date. Like make sure you don’t eat too much in front of him. Don’t eat too little either. Like don’t only order a diet coke and a salad because then you’ll seem too self-conscious and insecure to upper classmen,” said Diane.
Most students feel that, in the end, it is worth all the peer pressure, to date out of your grade. “Ross and I have a connection that I don’t think I could find in my grade. I’m mature for my age and Ross acts his age; it’s perfect,” said Lee. Diane feels that upper classmen are more secure of who they are than lower classmen. “I don’t want to date freshman guys now because they’re too insecure. Older guys are much more confident, taller, and have connections that I don’t.
A freshman girl‘s maturity level is usually equal to a Junior guy’s,” said Brooke. Freshman Suzy agrees with Diane. “Most freshman guys hang out in that one area outside the cafeteria, all huddled together. They’re always table-topping each other during lunch and yelling “fight, fight!” I don’t want to date them. Older guys are much more reserved,” said Suzy. According to senior Babs there are also benefits for upperclassmen to date down.“Since my boyfriend, Jack, is a junior, we get to go to both Junior Prom and Senior Ball. It’s going to be a lot fun,” said Lehocky.
Junior Jack feels that dating a senior is not a big deal. “My best piece of dating advice is to not sweat the small stuff; like an age difference. Age doesn’t matter as long as you like who you’re with,” said Ford. Babs feels that their difference in age has not affected their relationship at all. “We know each other really well even though we’re in different grades and have different friends. We even finish each other’s…” said Babs. “Sentences.” said Jack.
*names have been changed